Personal Development

When I recall moments in my life when I’d discovered bliss and times of wellness, I remember my grandparents’ smile and the joy I felt during one of our many visits together, or I think of celebrating a family member’s birthday, or I am reminded of the beaming pride on the face of someone who has completed their first Pilates class. Bliss is a state of being that reflects how our highest inner selves are interacting with a particular experience. These moments of bliss are often preceded by specific experiences. Here are some signs that you’re on the brink of discovering your bliss. 1. You experience opposition. We all have moments in life where the canvas of our perception reveals a reoccurring theme of rejection, lack, or opposition. But in every circumstance, there is a well of joy and fulfillment that follows opposition. The fullness of life is composed of opposing stages – seed and harvest, night and day, famine and feast. Just as a hard winter is called to gentle spring, the harsh conditions of life are called to change also. If it weren’t for the disappointments, we wouldn’t know what healthy choices look like. What seemed like opposition before, becomes a guiding light that propels us further into a destiny that is uniquely designed for you! 2. You see choices, not options. Options tend to be nestled between the desire for more and the fear of having less. Options can disguise themselves as choices. But, options don’t unleash the possibilities or the passion that every human being needs to connect with our fullest potential. It is when we release fear that we begin to see choices – those that exist in the valley, around the valley, up the mountain, and down its other side that – that we truly position ourselves to experience our bliss, no matter where we find ourselves planted. 3. You embrace solitude. Either by our own conviction or by the irony of life’s imposition, we all, at some point, find ourselves set a part from the crowd. The good news is that solitude removes distractions and reminds us to trust that we are exactly where we need to be in our own unique journey. In my solitude, I love spending time in deep prayer and meditation. It’s time that I set aside to be with myself and with my Creator. It’s where I find peace in the fact that I’m the best person in this world to be me. 4. You have faith when it doesn’t make sense. Faith makes room for God to move mountains and invert valleys. In faith, we realize our potential in times of adversity, when we are called to do more with less. Living with faith is the preamble to a new constitution for living a higher purpose that serves the world. Having faith is being true to the values and greater vision that the heart sees, even when our outer experience doesn’t prove that we should. Faith is moving to a place with no career promises or friends, but believing that it’s where you were called to be. I did this –- three times -– and the experience revealed vocations, friendships, and love that changed my life forever! 5. You decide to let go of the past. The past is the eternal bench press of life. It requires energy to uphold, and it leaves you resigned to the bench under which the heaviness sits. By its nature, the past is not a state of being; it is a tense, a point in time that is opposite of the present. The two cannot coexist in the same moment. Letting go of the past can be as daunting as forgiving the actions of an ex-partner or as annoying as forgiving your puppy for eating the freshly made sandwich that you carelessly left at the edge of the table. Forgiveness of the past allows the empty spaces of our heart to be filled by a joyful present. Bliss is different for each of us. Stale perceptions of what bliss should look like keeps us from learning to accept what is. Acceptance is the cocoon of life, where we can experience God in the most intimate and transformational ways. Bliss, therefore, is not a destination. It is the journey that leads us to the moment that we accept and make peace with our own path, a moment of glory without form or judgment. This is your bliss.

Why do we wait to be chosen in our jobs, relationships, educational paths, or even when it comes to our own health? Yes, we will attribute our health and well being to our genetics or the unfairness of life, which we seemingly have been chosen to endure. I propose that we are elected for greatness by God, who has already chosen to love us unconditionally the moment that we came into being. Therefore, there is no reason to expect to be chosen by other people, by the legacy of our genetics, or even by what some might call “just plain ole’ bad luck.” The truth is that we’ve already been chosen to experience an all-surpassing, eternal state of being, which is the love of God. What if I don’t like my choices? Conventional wisdom would tell us that if we don’t like the choices that are available, then change them. This is much easier stated than put into practice.  In his powerful little book, Think Your Way to the Life You Want, Bruce Doyle reminds us of this simple truth about change: …you can change only what you are willing to accept responsibility for. I am not suggesting that any of us blame ourselves for the frustration that we have with a job, the stresses of an unbalanced relationship, or the consequences of an unhealthy association with food. To do so would cripple our intention to choose from among the best options, and adversely encourage us to settle in with those options  that our perception deems as only available. I suggest that we accept ourselves right where we are, in the moment when we realize that a choice or series of choices no longer serve us. Accepting responsibility involves accepting ourselves without judgement or condemnation, differentiating the essence of who we are from the actions we take or life’s temporary circumstances that we find ourselves submerged in. What if I didn’t create my choices? One might argue that it is unreasonable to accept responsibility for sickness or for the unexplained loss of a loved one, where no reciprocity exists between cause and effect. Nonetheless, we can take ownership of the life that we do have, rather than dwelling on what we do not have or what we lost. We can accept that grief is a normal part of living and expect that everything living is subject to change.  There is no greater love than what God demonstrates to us exceedingly and eternally. The love of God never changes, never fails, and never yields itself to temporary conditions that take form in everyday living. God differentiates what we do from who we are and accepts us where we are, regardless of how we got there. If the Creator of  heaven and Earth can accept us with an unfailing love that lasts longer than life, itself, then can we not find it in our hearts to accept ourselves and one another? Take the next step When we accept responsibility and when we accept ourselves apart from the things that we might have done or the circumstances that we are in, then real change can begin. When we change, our choices change. As our choices evolve, we are empowered with our God-given authority to choose. Armed with this belt of truth, like awakened warriors, I encourage each of us to move forward, resigned from an insatiable desire to be chosen and instead, empowered for choosing. Choose the life that we have been created to live and the grace that we have been granted to enjoy it.